How to Tell if Someone is a True Friend :o)
There are some simple tests that you can perform to see if your friend is truly a friend from the heart, or someone who is just out to get what they want from you.
1. Self-Sacrifice. You may do everything to help them out, but if you need help, would they give you back the same level of help that you extended to them? If the answer is "no," then be careful.
2. Genuine Time-Sharing. This is an important one because it's a test of the true synergy in a friendship. When you spend time together, are you spending time just to enjoy each other's company and companionship? …or do you find that you only spend time together when your "friend" needs help or something from you? If the answer is the latter, then be careful—this is a sign of a manipulator.
3. Honesty. This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of interpersonal connectedness of the relationship. A true friend will tell you personal things, with complete trust that you will not use it against them later. Also a true friend will not keep things from you even though it is something that they might not want to hear.
4. Interest. How interested is the other person about your life? If you are doing something important, do they call and follow up with you? If they don't seem interested about you or your life at all, then be careful.
5. Integrity. Integrity is your ability to keep your word and do as you say you will. I've noticed that with fake friends, their integrity level is not so high. If they say they will call you tomorrow and don't, then that is a lack of integrity. If they say they will do something and either forget or more infamous the "I'm too busy today," line then they lack integrity. On the note of "busy," in my time management courses, I tell people that so much can be done on a given day and it just comes down to proper planning and priorities. When I hear someone tell me that they are too busy or that they forgot to call, then I rarely believe that is the truth. What I hear instead, is that I am not as important as other things in their life right now, so that is a red-flag to me that they are not a true friend because their level of integrity is poor.
1. Self-Sacrifice. You may do everything to help them out, but if you need help, would they give you back the same level of help that you extended to them? If the answer is "no," then be careful.
2. Genuine Time-Sharing. This is an important one because it's a test of the true synergy in a friendship. When you spend time together, are you spending time just to enjoy each other's company and companionship? …or do you find that you only spend time together when your "friend" needs help or something from you? If the answer is the latter, then be careful—this is a sign of a manipulator.
3. Honesty. This again is another big one on the list because it signifies the level of interpersonal connectedness of the relationship. A true friend will tell you personal things, with complete trust that you will not use it against them later. Also a true friend will not keep things from you even though it is something that they might not want to hear.
4. Interest. How interested is the other person about your life? If you are doing something important, do they call and follow up with you? If they don't seem interested about you or your life at all, then be careful.
5. Integrity. Integrity is your ability to keep your word and do as you say you will. I've noticed that with fake friends, their integrity level is not so high. If they say they will call you tomorrow and don't, then that is a lack of integrity. If they say they will do something and either forget or more infamous the "I'm too busy today," line then they lack integrity. On the note of "busy," in my time management courses, I tell people that so much can be done on a given day and it just comes down to proper planning and priorities. When I hear someone tell me that they are too busy or that they forgot to call, then I rarely believe that is the truth. What I hear instead, is that I am not as important as other things in their life right now, so that is a red-flag to me that they are not a true friend because their level of integrity is poor.
posted by ssmz at 8:59 AM
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