Hypocrisy

Most, if not all people are hypocrites since we constantly criticize what we deem to be bad behavior, even though most people do bad things at some point in their lives.

What is Hypocrisy / Who is a Hypocrite ?

A person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, esp. a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

The act of criticizing others for behavior which one engages in as well, or in other words, not practising what you preach.

A person who feigns some desirable or publicly approved attitude, esp. one whose private life, opinions, or statements belie his or her public statements.

A classic example of a hypocritical act is to denounce another for carrying out some action while carrying out the same action oneself.

Hypocrisy = Beliefs - Actions

If Beliefs = Actions than Hypocracy = Zero

The degree of hypocrisy one possesses is equal to the absolute value of the difference between their beliefs and actions

Humans have a natural tendency to keep their hypocrisy at zero. Therefore, they have a desire to keep their beliefs and actions equal.

when hypocrisy equals anything other than zero, an anxiety will exist inside the individual. These imbalances can linger for years in honest objective people and only seconds for bias rationalizers. Why is this? It is due to one's honesty and objectivity when evaluating their initial internal feeling following a hypocritical imbalance.

Everyone wants their hypocrisy to equal zero. Some do it by changing their beliefs so that they are equal to their actions. However, one should change his actions so that they equal your beliefs. Beliefs should be arrived at objectively, and should be a relatively independent variable.

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A hypocrite is someone who:

(1) advocates a standard,

(2) publicly applies that standard to himself,

(3) fails to meet that standard, and

(4) hides or denies his failure.

All Four Elements are required, yet hypocrisy is often confused with Element # 3 alone.

Failing to meet one's own standards is not hypocrisy.

Thus, a person who routinely confesses to being a sinner would not be a hypocrite. He advocates certain standards, yet admits to falling short.

Falling short of a standard should be no bar to advocating a high standard, so long as one is open about his own shortcomings.

A man, who fails to meet his own standards, rather than being a hypocrite, is often the best advocate of a different course of action.

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Types of Non-Hypocrites

"Tautological Rationalizers" are not hypocrites because their beliefs and perceptions of reality conform to support their own desires and imperfections. They can not be hypocrites because their beliefs and perceptions of reality are rationalizations for their actions and are without objectivity. When a state of hypocrisy arises, tautological rationalizers conform their beliefs around their actions to eliminate contradiction, rather than conforming their actions around their beliefs.

"Devoted Believers'' actions never contradict their beliefs. They are completely devoted to what they believe. Their beliefs and perceptions of reality are not rationalizations for their own actions. Their beliefs and perceptions of reality are the result of either objective logic, blind faith or a combination of the two. Regardless of the source of their beliefs, their beliefs and actions are without contradiction.

Types of Hypocrites

Honest External hypocrites: Their stated beliefs contradict their actions. However, their stated beliefs are consistent with their actual internal beliefs. Therefore they are also honest internal hypocrites. They have strong convictions but do not always follow through. Causes for this type of hypocrisy will be discussed later.

Dishonest External hypocrites: Their stated beliefs contradict their actions and their stated beliefs are not consistent with their actual beliefs. They often have weak convictions, and it is possible for them to be non-hypocritical on an internal level.

Honest internal hypocrites: Their internal beliefs contradict their actions. Their internal beliefs remain constant despite their contradicting actions. They are honest with themselves, and strive not to conform their beliefs around their own desires, actions, or imperfections.

Dishonest internal hypocrites: stated beliefs are consistent with actions but actual internal beliefs are not. They are often people pleasers with weak convictions.

What causes one to be an honest hypocrite?

Uncertainty of Beliefs: If you are not 100% certain in what you believe, then your actions are not likely to be consistent with your beliefs 100% of the time. A conservative interpreter of reality is seldom 100% certain about anything. This uncertainty can cause one to be hypocritical at times.

Carnal Desires: These are inherent human desires that often cause one to act on what the flesh desires, rather than what one believes to be the right action.

The difficulty level of the belief system: If one's belief standards of right and wrong are higher than what is humanly possible, then their actions are obviously not going to be consistent with their beliefs.

How should one go about obtaining a belief system?

One should do their best to objectively perceive Reality for what it is. One should do their best to objectively perceive Truth for what it is. One should do their best to objectively perceive Morality for what it is.

Once you obtain a belief system in this manner, your perception of reality will be as close to actual reality as you can make it. If your beliefs are humanly impossible after this evaluation, then you will have to settle for being an honest hypocrite!

I would rather be an honest hypocrite than lie about my imperfections.

Moi

Enlightenment

Enlightenment must come little by little otherwise it would overwhelm

Deviancy

Have you been deviant today?
Have you broken any rules?
You can enliven life by practicing deviancy and learning to be different.

In life people develop patterns of routine which organize and structure their day. Routine is helpful but over time a routine can become rigid. We have rules that we live by, and we are often reluctant to change them. A danger is that over time the rules and routine may become a rut of monotony, and we will be stuck in a pattern of living that is emotionally deadening. Our habitual routine may provide a set of blinders to a more exciting and challenging life.

To break out of routine you can be deviant. You can do something different on purpose. It may be as simple as changing the way you drive to work. Do you take the same route every day? How long have you done so? Do you ever vary it or do you just see the same scenery over and over? Try this. Tomorrow go a different way. Leave earlier if you have to. See something different. Take the scenic route. Be open to the experience and see if it brightens your day. Do the same thing on your way home. Take a different path – the one less traveled by you. See if variety enlivens your life.

practice deviancy.
Wear a new color.
Eat a new food. Something exotic.
Change your hairstyle
Run barefoot through a park

To change a routine you must recognize that you have one. Can you identify your routines? What you do day after day? Do you have a morning routine? A bedtime routine? Exercise routine? What about the weekends? Do you always do the same thing?

When you find a routine ask yourself these questions: "Why do I do this? Did I choose it or just fall into it? Do I like it? Is it helpful? Can I change it?"

Evaluate your routines and determine if they are useful or just habits. If they don’t seem useful then challenge them. Learn to be deviant on purpose. Put variety into your day. For a healthier and happier life be sure to bring some deviancy into your life everyday. Break out of your routines.

rut of monotony :0(

Realistic Unhappiness

Most people’s lives would improve if they could just learn to be realistically unhappy.
Realistic unhappiness is unhappiness that is in appropriate proportion to the negative events of life, events such as losing a job, divorce, or failing at an important task.
These events are distressing and it is normal to be upset. It is reality.
Being realistically unhappy or distressed helps us to accept the unfortunate events of life and gives us clear direction about what needs to be done.

However, there are two ways to avoid the reality of life.
One way is through denial. Something bad happens, and we look the other way.
We pretend that we don’t have a problem when we do.
For example, saying, "I can stop drinking whenever I want." Or, "This job stress never bothers me."

Denial is like sweeping the problem under the carpet. It only gets bigger when out of sight.
It festers in the dark until it can no longer be ignored and becomes a crisis.
It is better to directly face the issue and be realistic, even if it makes you unhappy.

Another way of avoiding reality is through exaggeration.
This is when you make everything worse than it is.
Whenever anything mildly unpleasant happens, you start thinking about how bad it is going to become - about all of the things that may go wrong.
You reach out into the future of imagined bad possibilities and bring them back into the present moment.

You begin living as if this is your new reality.
You make yourself much too unhappy for the actual event. You become "unrealistically unhappy" as you create more trouble than you need.

For example, the loss of a job is a real problem. Most people would be distressed.
Let’s say that most people would be about 50% miserable and let’s call this normal.
Now, suppose you get a layoff notice and lose a job.
You are now 50% miserable but on the way home you start thinking.
You think, "This is terrible. You know, I will never get another good paying job like that one.
My spouse will be upset. My kids will be mad. My car will be repossessed. I will lose my home and wind up living on the street. This is terrible."
By the time you arrive home your misery may have doubled to 100%.
Where did all of this extra misery come from?

Well, you made it up from an imagined future.
You have made yourself unrealistically unhappy, too unhappy for the event.
If, in a few days, none of these imagined bad things happen, and you get a lead on a job, you may shrink your misery back down to 50%. Back to normal.
Your life will have improved but you still have a problem – you don’t have a job.
However you are now only realistically unhappy and can use this normal unhappiness to motivate yourself into action.

Remember, when life gives you a problem, don’t create more misery than you need.

Learn to be realistically unhappy and life will go better.

Comfortably Miserable

Have you ever been comfortably miserable?
Have you ever found yourself in a bad situation that you wished would just go away?

It might be a relationship you are in or that dead-end job you have.
Maybe it is that small, cramped apartment?
You are unhappy and frustrated.
You complain and complain about how terrible it is, but you don’t take action.
You won’t change. You feel stuck and you are. You are caught in comfortable misery.

You are in a situation you don’t like, but you have gotten used to it.
It is like old, comfortable shoes. They are not attractive, but you keep wearing them out of habit. If you bought new ones, you would have to break them in.
What if they pinched? What if they hurt? What if you didn’t like them?
Better to just stay with what you have.

Why take a chance?

Comfortable misery is when you are miserable but you are used to it.
You know the limits and bounds of this misery.
You know that you can tolerate a situation this bad because you do it everyday?
The problem is that it is scary to try and get out of comfortable misery.
You could make a change but what would happen?
True - things could get better? But, they could get worse.
If it got worse could you stand it? You could actually create something more miserable.
You might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
Maybe it is better to stay like you are. At least you know you can tolerate it.

This is the type of reasoning that holds us back and keeps us stuck.
You are miserable but not miserable enough to change.
How miserable do you have to get?
You can wait until it becomes a crisis and you are impelled to act.
But, this isn’t the best way to change.
It is better to take responsibility and plan your action.
Look around. What are your choices? What can you do? Be realistic.
Anticipate what might go wrong and be prepared for it.
Acknowledge that you might be somewhat more uncomfortable as you go through the change process but be optimistic and expect that things will get improve.

What is better - quick and intense or slow and steady? Suppose you need minor surgery.
Do you want the doctor to make the incision quick or to go "real slow" so as not to hurt you? Slow and steady is actually more painful. Quick will also hurt but it is soon over with.

Comfortable misery is slow and steady.
It can be very distressing over time.
It becomes more and more intense.

Quick action can get you out of comfortable misery.
It may be temporarily unpleasant as you change but life can get much better.
You are no longer stuck.
You can jump out of the frying pan with its slow burn and over the fire in to a new opportunity – a new possibility.

Don’t’ choose to be comfortably miserable.
Choose to take a chance, take action, and see what happens.

Lessons on Life

There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.

When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.

The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.

He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral:

Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

Don’t judge life by one difficult season.

Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later

The blessing is that we can.

Dec 9 12:44pm 2003 www.desi-planet.com

Sometimes you must keep going.

Life punches you in the stomach.

you must keep going.

It knocks your breath out and leaves you bowed and gasping.

you must keep going.

You lose a job. . . .

you must keep going.

You find out you have a serious illness. . .

you must keep going.

You have a headache. . .

you must keep going.

Sometimes the things in life are not serious but they affect you ..... nevertheless. . .

you must keep going.

You have a big argument with your spouse.Neither of you feels like talking and maybe not even looking ateach other. . . .

you must keep going.

The bills seem to never end and the money seems to never start.

you must keep going.

There are times that make us just want to curl up, stick ourheads in a hole, and make the world go away.We can't, because

we must keep going.

Life is full of those circumstances.Many of you when you woke up this morning, for a variety ofreasons, didn't feel like getting out of bed, but you had to.

you must keep going.

In times like those, and we all have them,remember the blessing.
The blessing is not in that we must keep going.
The blessing is that we can.

Watch Out

Dec 8 6:08pm 2003 www.desi-planet.com

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

--Frank Outlaw

Nasir Kazmi

Dec 7 7:39pm 2003 www.desi-planet.com


Woh dil nawaz hai magar nazr shanas nahin
Mera Ilaj meray chara gar kay paas nahi

Tarap rahay hain zaban par kaee sawal magar
Meray liyay koi shayan-e-Iltamas nahin

Teray jaloo main bhi dil kanp kanp uthta hai
Meray mizaj ko aasodgi bhi raas nahin

Kabhi kabhi jo teray qurb main guzaray thay
Ab un dinoon ka tasawur bhi meray paas nahin

Guzar rahay hain ajab marhaloon say deeda o Dil
Sehar ki aas tu hai zindagi ki aas nahi

Mujhay yeh dar hai teri aarzo na mit ja.a
Bohat dinoon say tabiat meri udass nahin

Anyways

Dec 7 7:35pm 2003 www.desi-planet.com

People are often unreasonable , Illogical , Self centered

Forgive them any way

If you are kind , People may accuse you of selfish , Ulterior motives

Be kind any way

If you are successful . You will win some false friends and some true enemies

Succeed any way

If you are Honest and frank , People may cheat you

Be Honest and Frank any way

What you spend years building,Some one may destroy overnight

Build Anyway

If you find serenity and Happiness ,They may be Jealous

Be happy any way

The good you do today , People will often forget tomorrow

Do good Anyway

Give the world the best you have, It may never be enough

Give the world the best you have got anyway

You see in the final analysis ; It is between you and God

It was never between you and them any way

Some thimes we don’t always make time

far too much time passes before we say how much we care

I just want you to know that no matter how long it has been between phone calls and notes

You are on my mind and in my heart every day

..... Anyway .....

Jon Aelia

Dec 2 4:33am 2003 www.desi-planet.com

Kiss say Izhar e Mudaa keejiyay
Aap Miltay Nahin hain kiya keejiyay .....

Hoo na paya yeh faisla ab tak
Aap kee.ya keejiyay ; Tu kiya keejiyay.....

Zindagi ka Ajab Muamla hai
Aik Lamhay Main Faisla keejiyay.....

Mujh ko Aadat hai rooth jaanay ki
Aap Mujh ko mana liya keejiyay .....

Miltay Rahiyay Issi Tapak kay Sath
Bay wafaee ki Intiha keejiyay .....

Mujh say kehti theen woh zehar aankheen
Aap woh zehar Mat piya keejiyay.....

Rang har Rang main hai Dad talab
Khoon Thookon tu wah wah Keejiyay .

Am i asking for too much ?????

Nov 28 2:36am 2003 www.desi-planet.com

Dyar - e - noor main taira shabon ka sathee hoo
koi hoo jo mairee wehshaton ka sathee hoo

Woo khuwaab daikhay tu mairay hawalay say
Mairay khayal kay sab manzaroon ka sathee hoo

Main iss say jhoot bhee boloon tu mujh say sach bolay
Mairay mizaaj kay sab mausamoon ka sathee hoo

Woo mairay naam kee nisbat say mauttabar thehray
Gali gali mairee ruswaiyun ka sathee hoo

karay kalam jo mujh say tu mairay lehjay main
Main chup rahoon to mairay tewaron ka sathee hoo

Main apnay aap koo daikhoon woo mujhay daikhay
Woo mairee nafs kee gumrahyun ka sathee hoo

Hmmmmm .....

Life Is Like a River .....

Nov 28 2:18am 2003 www.desi-planet.com


Life is like a river.
Let it carry you,
not knowing where it will take you,
and you will journeyto amazing places; or
stay on the shore,
knowing for surewhere you will be,
and you will go nowhere.

I wonder

www.desi-planet.com , ssmz's Blog, Nov 24 11:38pm 2002

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How come No Mails in my Mail box today :(

My Blog posts since 2002

Ok

I will copy paste all my Blog entries from www.desi-planet.com to blogger.
I will keep writting there .... But I will copy paste what ever i write there